Saturday 25 March 2017

Woebegone #4

Some friends of mine post on a blog in which they take turns in telling a story. The result is a tale which is constantly changing direction, so you'll never know what happens next. You can read the whole thing here. Below is my contribution.


“Talking animals?!” spluttered Tarrick, “You mean little Bulmic thinks he can talk to birds and cattle and snails?”

“Well, actually,” said Melvic, pausing to consider his phrasing, “have you heard the legend of the witches who could sp-“

The brothers heard a scream coming from the direction of the feasting hall. They ran back through the dim, cold corridors to find the hall deathly silent. In the very centre of the room was a man wearing a tattered black cloak, his face hidden by the hood. He was bent over like a cripple, but was still taller than almost all the guests, all of whom simply stared at the man. He held a torch over his head, and didn’t seem to feel when embers fell and touched his weathered hand. He looked ready to catapult it at the gathering.

Tarrick marched over to the guard at the door and grabbed his collar, “Why did you let this vagrant in?”

“But sir, he’s…”

“The world’s doom approaches!” bellowed the man, “Every city shall burn, every stately monument shall crumble, every man, woman and child shall be devoured by hate! There shall be a sea of blood from horizon to horizon. The Moon will weep and the Sun will swell with rage. The animals will say to themselves, ‘Why did we let these foolish humans rule the world? Were they really God’s chosen race?’ And who shall bring this about?”

He stretched out a gnarled finger and spun around.

“You! You so-called nobility! You who would kill your own child for some rare metals or a longer title! You who are well born but who will die horribly! What will you do to save yourselves?!”

Silence returned to the hall. The man turned this way and that, hoping someone would answer his question.

“Why have you got that torch?” a particularly obese noble asked, a note of fear in his voice

The stranger turned and made for the noble like a predator. Despite a limp, the man’s stride was so long that he was towering over the noble in seconds, forcing him to shrink into his seat.

He roared “Because I’m blind, you fool!”

When the noble said nothing, he moved away.

“I can’t see a thing in this damnable fog,” he muttered, “this lot are worthless, I’ve seen more valuable cowpats”

He casually tossed the torch away. One of the guards quickly picked it up before it rolled over anything flammable. As the stranger passed the bear, he offered it a curtsy. The bear gave him a baffled look. Then the stranger walked towards the throne. Tarrick and Melvic were quick to block his way.

“That is my father’s seat”, said Tarrick, one hand gripping his sword in its sheath

The man gave them piercing looks with his crystal blue eyes.

“So these are my nephews … but neither of you are the one I seek”

Melvic’s mind flashed. Although his father had never mentioned him, the courtiers had told him about this man.

“You renounced any claim to the throne the day you ran away from the palace, Uncle Sinop,” said Melvic, “That you’ve returned changes nothing. Luthric is the king”

“That cunt was no fun to play with. The older brother’s meant to be the serious one, not the younger. I have no interest in that gaudy chair. It looks uncomfortable”

He brushed past the brothers, clambered onto the royal dining table and sat down, spilling flagons and getting food on his cloak in the process. He picked up a cup of ale and started swilling it down.
Melvic sighed, “Where have you been all this time, Uncle Sinop?”

“I have spent the past thirty years with the Monks of Slomno, in their hermitage atop the Mountain of the Sleeping Dragon, in the faraway land of Hyperborea. From them I learnt that reality is a dream, and dreams are reality. Aha!”

Sinop leapt from the table and strode through the hall towards the great doors. All eyes turned to where he was heading – Bulmic had arrived, drawn by the ruckus, and looked rather panicked by the old man bearing down on him with fire in his eyes. Sinop put a hand on Bulmic’s shoulder.

“When you are ready, come and find me. The donkey will know where I am”

Before he could ask anything, the man turned to go.

“Did he say donkey?” someone murmured nearby, “He really is mad!”


Bulmic saw the tails of his threadbare cloak whip around the corner and out of sight. The tension in the hall broke and the nobles started merrily telling each other about the odd spectacle they had just witnessed, but Bulmic stood pondering the meaning of his words – ready for what?  

Sunday 19 March 2017

Historia Alium - Chapter 6

There Will Be Nectar

1845 AUC 

The ship pitched up, the ship pitched down. Up then down, up then down. Eogan felt nauseous, and he couldn’t get the taste of salt out of his mouth. But he steeled himself. I had better get used to this, he told himself. He was huddled in one corner of the enormous, empty iron ship with a handful of others. Spray rained down on them as a wave hit their side of the ship, and they shivered in unison. Brine dripped from Eogan’s already matted red beard. They had waited at Etincastra for three days for the weather to clear, but this was as clear as it got. But at least, thought Eogan, he wasn’t in chains. What would be the point? The only place he could go was into the sea to his grave. And besides, in a way, that was why he was there.

He saw one soldier hurry from the prow of the ship to tell his comrade something, jabbing his finger to the front. Eogan got up and looked over the hull. Less than a mile away was what looked like a small fleet of iron ships, all clumped together to better weather the sea. In the middle was a tall tower, which looked flimsy, like the bare frame of a house, until he realised that it too was made of iron.

As they prepared to dock, the soldiers forced the passengers to their feet. As soon as the walkway joined the two ships, they were pushed along it. Once the last of them was on board, ragged-looking men suddenly appeared rolling barrels. There seemed to be an unending stream of them, and after they had rolled one barrel onto the ship they would run back to fetch another. Slowly but surely the ship that had borne them over the restless sea was filling up with cargo.

A man wearing a feathered helmet approached the newcomers. He stared grimly at each of the prisoners in silence, then decided to give them a speech. Eogan was far from fluent in Latin. He caught the occasional word – ‘obedience’, ‘duty’, ‘death’. It wasn’t long before he stopped listening. He was confident he knew all he needed to know. On the other side of the world, the Romans had discovered something they called oleum or ‘Pluto’s nectar’. Some nutty Britons decided to look for some under their own island, to no avail, until one found some under the sea. They found a lot of air under the sea as well. Eogan had heard that the Romans burnt all this nectar and air, but found it hard to believe. What was wrong with wood? No, nectar was no doubt an intoxicating drink favoured by Roman noblemen and their spoilt sons.

The officer finished his speech, stared grimly at his new charges again for a few moments, then waved his hand. Eogan was pushed forward by a soldier behind him. Their first task was to finish loading the barrels, so they joined the river of men constantly going between the boat and the store house. Rolling the barrels was harder than it looked – the boats pitched and rolled like any other, so the barrels slipped out of control, running ahead of you or into your shins. It didn’t take long for Eogan’s back to ache, and as time went on it slowly turned to agony.

Mercifully, once the last of the barrels had been moved, the sky was quickly darkening as the sun presumably set behind the clouds. The other men led them to the slave ship, and on the way was the platform on which the tower was built. Eogan stood and watched as a length of thick rope rhythmically plunged into a deep, dark hole then rose again with a groan. Thoughts of his many past lovers came to Eogan’s mind, but this was not something so innocent. It was unnatural, it was as if the Romans were raping the sea, as if they had forgotten that the world had given birth to them. The groans were other-worldly, demonic, pained.

The slave quarters were the cargo hold below deck, a vast, dark hall of metal, completely bare save for a few mats. Eogan joined the queue for dinner – a bowl of water mixed with assorted fish parts.

“Eogan?”

He turned around. There was hulking ogre of a man, with bulging muscles, fierce eyes and a gaunt, drooping face. His beard was as red and wild as Eogan’s, but his crown was as sparse as a baby’s.

“Talorcan?”

The two threw down their meals and embraced.

“I swear you had been killed!”

“And you!”

Talorcan pulled down the collar of his ragged tunic to show a deep, purple, star-shaped scar on his chest.

“I came close! I got within ten feet of one of them, ready to crack open his skull, then he uses his fire-stick on me. When I wake up, I’m in chains. When one gets near I throw myself at him like a madman, managed to bite off his ear. I guess they decided I wasn’t worth keeping, but they didn’t want to do it quickly, so they sent me here. How did you survive?”

“I was with Uurad’s band,” said Eogan, “we were one of the first to charge at them. We didn’t even get close enough to see their faces. I remember a cloud of smoke around them, then everyone around me collapses. Everyone’s hit but me, but I’m under half a dozen men, all dead or dying. By the time I crawl out, it’s all over”

“So Uurad…”

“He’s dead. They got him in the face”

Talorcan walked over to the wall and kicked it hard. He paused, breathing deeply, then walked back with a slight limp, picked up his bowl and started to eat the stew.

“He’ll be drinking with his ancestors now then. I envy the bastard. So how did you end up here?”

Eogan sat down and started to eat as well, “I was taken to a market in Etincastra. Got bought by the owner of a big farm – a ‘latifundium’ they call it. I got there just before harvest. Hard work, but nothing I hadn’t done as a lad, except with grown men breathing down your neck instead of grandma. One day the owner does a tour of the estate with his daughter. I catch her eye. That night I receive an invitation to the villa”

Talorcan grinned, “Ho ho! Was she a looker?”

“Not bad, although frankly by that point if a pig had given me come-hither eyes I’d have been all over it! Obviously I didn’t have much choice in the matter, but I’ve done worse chores. Anyway, after one of our … sessions, she falls asleep and I’m feeling a little parched, so I sneak around the house in the dead of night in search of some refreshment, and I find some wine. Maybe an hour later I’m in the dining room – they have rooms just for eating in! – singing the songs our fathers taught us. Of course who do I wake up? The owner. He comes to see what all the ruckus is and sees me, naked as the day I was born but a lot hairier, lying on his couch. He shouts at me, I take offense and I break his nose. Now this man had seen a few too many winters, so falls to the floor and starts moaning. I decide that now’s a good time to do a runner, but his guards wrestle me to the ground before I can even climb out a window. That happened about a week ago”

“Ha ha! So did you kill him?” asked Talorcan

“Nah, I’m sure he’s had worse hangovers”

“But still, you got one of them! That’s more than most of us can say”

“And I got to taste some Roman wine. It’s strong stuff. My kind of drink”

“Fancy doing some more sneaking?” asked Talorcan with a mischievous smile, “There’s something I want to show you. But this time, no singing”

They waited until most of their fellows were asleep and there were only a few hushed conversations around dim lamps. Talorcan opened the hatch to the deck as slowly as he could. The sentry outside had already slumped to the floor with fatigue. Eogan momentarily considered taking his fire-stick, but he hurried after Talorcan who had already jumped onto the adjoining ship.  They entered the shadows, and stuck close to each other. Everything was shrouded in darkness. Eogan thought every barrel and metal beam was some Roman demon, and every creak and rattle an angry sea spirit. Then he saw light and movement ahead, coming from the highest deck of a ship.

“That’s the barracks”, whispered Talorcan

By moving slowly through the shadows they avoided the watchmen’s gaze. They hid behind some crates on the edge of the platform they were on. There were a few meters between them and the barrack-ship. Talorcan gave Eogan a manic grin, and before he could stop him, he had launched himself over the water onto the ship. Eogan cursed himself for not realising earlier that his friend’s plan was suicidally mad, then threw himself onto the ship as well. Still wearing his grin, Talorcan silently gestured to an open hatch in the floor of the deck and jumped down into the bowels of the ship. Warily Eogan followed him.

They crept through a dark, cramped corridor. Eogan leapt back several meters when he saw a shape in an alcove. Talorcan put his finger to his lips and went into the alcove, and allowing his fear to be tempered by curiosity Eogan looked around the corner. It was a statue of a muscular old man holding a three-pronged spear and with a beard that curled like the tentacles of an octopus – the Roman god of the sea. In the opposite alcove there was another statue of an old man, this one holding a chain that restrained a wild-looking three-headed dog. Eogan didn’t recognise this one – the Roman god of earth?

They carried on down the corridor, and passed a doorway to a room with at least a dozen sleeping soldiers. Eogan saw a cup of wine next to the nearest and drank it in one.

“Why are there so many of them?” Eogan whispered as they continued further into the ship, “With those fire-sticks they could guard us with a handful of men”

“It’s not just us slaves they have to fear,” said Talorcan, “now shut up, we’re almost there”

Eogan held a lantern as Talorcan opened a metal door with as little creaking as he could, revealing a tiny room. Laying on a pile of hay, chained to the wall by a cuff around her neck, was a young woman. She woke, jerked up and pulled the cloth under which she had been sleeping to her face. She trembled with fear, but didn’t make a noise. Her hair flowed elegantly past her shoulders – it was silver like the moon, something Eogan had never seen before.

“What do you think?” asked Talorcan, keeping his eyes on the girl, “Worth the trip?”

“Oh yes”

The two men simply stood in the doorway gawping like entranced little boys. Life is like a desert, thought Eogan, and a pretty face is like an oasis. They had to drink from the spring of beauty for as long as they could. Their ecstasy was finished abruptly by a quiet, gruff voice from down the corridor. Talorcan shut the door and jabbed his finger in the direction opposite to the voice’s. The pair slipped back into the darkness.

***

The next day the sea was calm, but a thick fog slowly danced above the waves, making it feel as though nothing existed except for this strange fleet of stationary ships. A foreman gave Eogan the task of managing the sluice gate of a pipe that snaked its way from the gigantic metal frame which ploughed the ocean floor. Someone would come with an empty amphora, Eogan would open the gate, and nectar would pour in as they held the amphora steady. Maybe they had simply run out of wooden barrels, but to Eogan’s mind the fact that they were using the same earthen amphora the Romans used to store wine was proof. Once there was no-one around, he opened the gate for a split second to let some of the nectar pool in his hand. He slurped it up, swilled it around his mouth, then spat it out. Obviously it was an acquired taste.

“If you want to live, learn how to do your job well,” said Talorcan, who approached while Eogan still dribbled black spittle, “you’ll get a lashing for every drop you spill”

“It must be insanely valuable. Only makes me want to drink more”

Talorcan moved closer and lowered his voice, “There was something I wanted to ask you last night. Are there … are there any tribes left?”

Eogan looked at his friend, then at the floor, “I don’t know”

Talorcan folded his arms and fire entered his eyes.

“We’ve held them off for centuries,” he said from behind clenched teeth, “There’s nothing beyond our lands except sea and rocks. We were the last of the free peoples in the world”

Eogan put a hand on his shoulder. Talorcan took a deep breath.

“Better get back”

As he walked back towards the giant phallus as it groaned up and down, there was a loud snap. Eogan watched with some confusion as a dozen men around the metal frame started running around and shouting frantically. Suddenly a blinding light and a wave of searing heat threw him onto the floor. With some difficulty he sat up and opened his eyes – people were on fire, some throwing themselves into the ocean, others collapsing to the floor and allowing the flames to consume their twitching bodies. The metal frame had been ripped apart, and in its place was a column of fire reaching high into the sky. Eogan was in no doubt that this was the revenge of the gods, and this ferocious spectacle made it clear that humanity could not match their power.

Then he remembered Talorcan. He brushed off the flames on his clothes, got up and ran toward the columns, ignoring the pleas for help from the people he passed. Near the column of fire he could hear “Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!” There was now an enormous fissure in the ship. Eogan looked over the edge and saw Talorcan dangling over the dark waters, one hand clasping a metal bar desperately, his other arm bloody and blackened. Eogan reached down, but he saw defeat in his friend’s eyes. The ship groaned as though in pain, then there was a deafening crack.  Talorcan fell as the two halves of the ship slid into one another, sealing the fissure and throwing Eogan back. He lay on the cold floor, watching the fire pierce the sky. Another good man, taken away by the Romans’ greed.

There were now people scurrying around him, putting out fires, moving equipment and bodies. When one of them tried to drag Eogan away, he pushed him off, got up and walked away. With every step, rage built up inside him. The Romans’ mad campaign against the world had to be stopped, but the hopelessness of stopping them turned the rage into something cold and nauseating. He reached the edge of the flotilla and looked out at the mist. He had to think of a way, but his mind was numb and empty. He looked up to the sky, raised his hands and cried “Taranis, help me!”

The thunder god did not respond. Eogan went back to looking out to sea, at the shapes made by the swirling mist. Then he saw more concrete, more dark shapes, large and looming. An arrow whistled past his ear, and he instinctively dropped to the floor. Another arrow hit a soldier in the eye. He collapsed and writhed and screamed, and another soldier dragged him away while shouting “Hyperboreans! Hyperboreans!”

A dozen soldiers came running, formed a line parallel to the ship’s edge and aimed their fire-sticks. One of them grabbed Eogan’s collar and threw him out of the way. He could now see wooden boats with gigantic sails and dragons on their bows. Were they another Northern tribe come to save us, he thought, or maybe warriors sent by the gods?

Once they were close enough, an officer barked an order. Eogan jumped as a thunderous boom came from each fire-stick. But it didn’t stop the boats, and heavy-set men with silver hair jumped on board, roaring as they swung their swords and axes. As more Romans arrived, Eogan realised he couldn’t join the fight without a weapon, so he ran.

He headed for the barracks ship. Peering from behind a crate, he watched as soldiers piled out of the barracks. The flood became a trickle, and eventually it seemed that the barracks had been emptied. Inside, he started to check each and every room. There has to be a fire-stick lying around somewhere, he thought, or at the very least an old sword. But there was nothing, not even a kitchen knife. Then it occurred to him that he had been on that corridor before. He found the right door and opened it. The silver-haired girl was cowering in a corner and shaking, her hands pressed against her ears to protect them from the horrific sounds of the battle outside – the echoes of fire-stick thunderclaps, metal clashing against metal, screams of agony.

“Hey!”

Eogan turned and saw a Roman aim his fire-stick at him. Eogan dived into the girl’s cell. Sparks flew as the fire-stick hit the door. He heard the Roman’s footsteps, and crouched against the wall by the door. As soon as the tip of the fire-stick crossed the threshold, he launched himself, tackling the Roman to the floor. He pinned down the Roman’s arms with his own, arched back and brought his head down onto the Roman’s face with such force that he felt the nose crack. He headbutted him again, and again, until finally he loosened his grip on his fire-stick. Eogan took it from him, stood up and aimed at his bloody face. Eogan gazed at something he had never seen before with immense satisfaction – fear in a Roman’s eyes. He pulled the trigger, and the Roman feared no more.

Eogan went back into the cell and fired the fire-stick at the hoop that bound her to the wall. It shattered, freeing the girl. He turned and smiled, expecting some gratitude, but the girl had already ran out, the long chain around her neck clattering behind her. Eogan ran after her.

“Wait! Wait!”

As soon as he got outside he stopped. The battle was over, and had been replaced by the eerie quiet of the aftermath. The air was thick with the smell of blood and smoke. The injured moaned, and the victors chuckled amongst themselves. The girl was talking to a tall, muscular silver-haired man in a language Eogan had never heard before. She pointed at him, and Eogan approached gingerly, offering the fire-stick. The man took it, and looked at him with icy blue eyes. He grabbed his shoulders, and led him towards a small crowd of other slaves, all of them hunched up and looking around nervously.
The tall man barked an order, and some of his warriors corralled the slaves towards their boats. As they got onboard, Eogan noticed that some of the silver-haired men were taking barrels and amphora of nectar and putting them onboard as well.


After a while, once they had taken enough nectar and prisoners, the silver-haired warriors merrily climbed aboard their boats and pushed off from the flotilla. As they rowed towards the east, Eogan watched as some of the iron ships began to sink beneath the waves. The pillar of fire, still raging, became smaller and smaller until it was faint blur behind the mist. A new chapter of my life, thought Eogan, and only the gods know what will happen in it. But at least I’m free of the Romans. 

Sunday 12 March 2017

Historia Alium - Chapter 5

Mightier than the Sword

1633 AUC 

“The students! United! Will never be defeated! The students! United! Will never be defeated!”

The chant echoed around the harbour as the column slowly marched towards the temple built by Cleopatra in honour of her dead lover, the ancient dictator Caesar. An old man hurriedly packed up his fish stall as the vanguard of the protesters passed him.

“Damn students!” he muttered to himself, “They’re never happy! Those damn, stinking students!”

“Have no fear, sir!”

A student sporting an unkempt beard and a smug smile stopped in front of the stall.

“We’re fighting on your behalf! For every peasant in the Empire!”

“You ain’t helping me!” said the fishmonger, “We just want peace and quiet! But you lot keep picking fights with the government!”

“Here, let me help”, said the student, picking up a box of fish

“Hands off, you pest!”

A roar came from the Caesareum down the street.

“Shit, it’s started” 

He ran down the road, darting between his comrades. Before long he reached the crush, and he had to push and jostle his way to the front. Eventually, having forced his way through the tight phalanx, he burst onto the prow of the protest. There were a few feet of no-man’s-land between the soldiers, rectangular red shields in one hand and wooden swords in the other, and the boiling, seething sea of students.

“You motherfuckers!” he screamed, “You sons of syphilitic whores! You flaccid dicks! Go back to the brothel, you cunting cocksuckers! We’ll sodomise the lot of you! Eat shit and die!”

He saw, behind the first few lines of soldiers, there were centuries in reserve with real, steel swords. And behind the Caesareum was the Tribune’s Palace, the lair of the local oligarch and imperial stooge, Agathon. Between the unarmed army and the armed one, there were two timeworn obelisks, and with the help of some friends, a girl clambered onto the high plinth of one. She turned her back to the soldiers and addressed her fellows with a clenched fist held high:

“Free the prelum! Free the mind! Free the prelum! Free the mind!”

The chant quickly caught on, and got faster with every utterance.

“Free the prelum! Free the mind! Free the prelum! Free the mind!”

The student didn’t join in, but absently gazed at the girl. She had flowing red hair that undulated in the wind, and she wore strange Celtic-looking garments that didn’t cover her slender midriff. 

Suddenly someone grabbed his collar and pulled him away from the soldiers and back into the throng of students. Despite his protests, he was dragged into a deserted alleyway.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” asked the man who had plucked him from the crowd, who was pale and had jet black hair and a matching toga

“It’s a march against the prelum restrictions, Stolo. If anyone’s going to protest, it should be us. I mean, it’s why we-“

Stolo pushed him against the wall and, being a tall man, stood menacingly over him.

“You idiot, Barbatus. That’s precisely why we should not protest. What if you got arrested? What if they tortured you until you told them?”

“I wouldn’t tell them a thing!” insisted Barbatus

Stolo sighed, “Listen, I came to find you after you didn’t turn up this morning. Do you remember? That we arranged to meet up at the villa today? Come on, let’s go”

Stolo walked away, and Barbatus, after a look back to the march, hesitantly turned and followed. Cries of anguish and anger rose up behind as the battle started in earnest, making Barbatus curse under his breath. The pair walked to the Macedonian quarter, where the villas were large and there were almost no horse droppings in the streets. Stolo kicked on the door of a villa that looked like any other. A frail old man with a beard down to his waist answered.

“Ah, boys! Here to ask me more questions about your essays, are you?” he said loudly, “Come in, come in!”

“Thank you, magister Vetus”

The three went to Vetus’ study, and moved his large desk to reveal a trapdoor. They went down the rickety wooden staircase into the dark basement. Tuditanus, a stocky engineering student, was already there, slotting some parchment into the prelum. The prelum was an imposing, monolithic machine: a wooden structure which held a large screw which pressed down on a piece of parchment and some metal tiles with moveable letters. Barbatus went to a table in the corner, where waiting for him was a copy of ‘On Platonistic Historiography’ – a surprisingly boring title for the most widely read monograph since the invention of the prelum twenty years ago – by the radical philosopher Malleolus.  The copy was in Latin, and Barbatus started to write out the third chapter on a wax tablet, except in Coptic, the language of the native Egyptians. He was originally from Neapolis, but having finished his universals with flying colours he moved to Alexandria two years ago to start a course in Egyptian Studies.

“I’ll leave you to it, boys,” said Vetus as he went back upstairs, “I’ve got a lecture on heart failure to prepare”

On a table next to the prelum was a stack of Coptic copies, each of them poorly bound and with a Latin cover for disguise. Stolo, who was in charge of distribution, loaded a bag with a few monographs and left. He would come and go several times, meeting various members of the native community who were eager to spread Malleolus’ ideas, despite the fact that being caught with material printed in any language other than Latin could land you a public flogging. The punishment for printing such material was crucifixion, something the four men tried to put out of their minds as they went about their work.

***

The sun was approaching the horizon. Barbatus and hundreds of other students had been sitting in the academy’s open-air lecture theatre since midday. His bum had passed through pain to stiff numbness, and the end of his stylus had nearly been chewed off. The lecture was on the Ptolemaic period and was, despite the magister’s excruciating monotone, fascinating – there was a small pile of wax tablets by Barbatus’ feet – but both body and mind have their limits. He looked around his fellows, and his eyes stopped on a mass of red hair a few rows below him. Could it be?  

“Okay, that’s it for today,” said the magister, his voice echoing around the stone theatre, “please read the first five chapters of ‘On the Annexation of Egypt’ for next week”

Barbatus threw everything into his bag and darted past his neighbours as they yawned and stretched their limbs. He reached the red-headed girl as she was making her way down.

“Hi!” said Barbatus, “Pretty interesting lecture, huh?”

“Er, yeah I suppose”, she said in an accent he couldn’t place

“I saw you at the protest the other day”

Her eyes lit up.

“You were at the battle too? By Mars’ prick, that was the best one I’ve been at for ages. Were you there when we stormed the Caesareum?”

“Yeah ... I remember kicking a soldier in the colei”

The girl looked intently at his face, trying to judge his character.

“Fancy going to the shisha tavern? I’m Illica, by the way”

“I’m Barbatus”

They left the theatre and walked across the plaza of the academic district. In the centre was a naked man, lying face down on a bench, his hands and feet tied down. A soldier stood over him with a whip in his hand. Barbatus could see trickles of blood flowing down his sides, and a sign hung around his neck that read ‘NLL’ – short for non-Latin reader. He yelped in pain as the whip came down again, and Barbatus gulped. Maybe he had read something he had translated.

“Isn’t that wrong? Just for reading a monograph”, said Illica

Barbatus nodded. The tavern was opposite the temple of Thoth, a magnificent building with towering columns and artful carvings of scholars in profile at the heart of the academic district. Above the entrance to the tavern were a wooden head and a hand holding a pipe which swung to and from his mouth. Although his hair was green and his eyes were red, the bushy beard was deliberately reminiscent of Malleolus’. Barbatus often frequented this haven for free-thinkers.  The two lay down on some cushions, with a bright blue glass shisha between them.

“So, Illica, where are you from?”

“Brittannia”

“Aha, Londinium?”

Illica rolled her eyes, “We’re not all from Londinium. I’m from Eburacum, in the north”

An attendant brought them some unleavened bread, placed a small block of hashish on the tray of the shisha and lit it with a candle. Barbatus took the pipe and drew the smoke through the water, down the tube and into his lungs. As he exhaled and watched the smoke billow then fade, he felt a blanket of relaxation slowly descend and embrace his body and mind. He passed the pipe to Illica. As she smoked, Barbatus was suddenly struck by the beauty of the scene: the vivid colours of the tavern’s decorations, the laughter coming from other parties, the lamps being lit by slaves on the street outside as the city darkened, the delicate features of Illica as the veil of smoke was lifted before her face. He wanted to tell her all this, but knew that to attempt to articulate it would take too long.

“So, what do you think of Malleolus?” asked Illica

She nodded towards a large fresco of him, with a book in one hand and a hammer in the other.
“He’s absolutely right,” said Barbatus, leaning forward with fire in his eyes, “Utopia’s just around the corner, it has to be. The prelum has changed everything, nothing will be the same again. Plato’s ideal polis is not only possible, it’s inevitable. Maybe Alexandria will be the first one! All we need to do is educate the peasants in the possibility of a better life, a better world. Once we have them on side, there’s nothing we can’t do. As a united city, or even a united Empire, we can forge any sort of society we want”

“And why would we create Plato’s utopia?” asked Illica, “Philosopher-kings who decide who gets to fuck who, every child brought up by the State ... it seems a bit random”

Out of the blue Barbatus’ mind effervesced with a realisation.

“I suppose ever since Caepio took over, the whole Empire’s been wondering what the future will look like,” he said, “ironically, a vision of the future has come from the past. That’s why Malleolus’ ideas are so popular. Have you never read On Platonistic Historiography?”

“Philosophy’s not really for me,” she said, “I’m more interested in the fighting. We need to show Empress Bitch the error of her ways”

“Surely you have a modicum of respect for her?” he asked, “Galeria invented the prelum, after all”

“She built up the intellectual class, then stabbed us all in the back by imposing all these restrictions. We can’t even read a monograph in Greek, and all because of this ‘incentive to Romanise’ nonsense. No, I don’t respect her. She’s just an old hag who’s bitter because she never married Caepio and now he’s dead”

“I suppose so”, he said

“Goes to show how important it is to do what you want to do, when you want to do to it”, said Illica with a smirk, her eyes giving him a look that seemed to ask “Do you dare?”

Barbatus smiled and took another drag from the pipe. After the hashish was finished and they had eaten their meal, the two walked through the city together to Barbatus’ building, a towering student insula with cheap rents and cheaper building materials. As they ran up the rickety wooden staircase, the occasional stair dislodged and fell down the shaft. They ignored noisy revelers and irritated essay-writers on their way. When they got to his room, Barbatus lit a single lamp, hoping to disguise how dank and cramped it was. Illica closed the door. The two of them stood face to face, breathing heavily with anticipation, waiting to see who would make the first move. Then Illica undid her belt and pulled off her tunic. Her body was slender but in no way dainty, and despite being from the frozen north every part of her had tanned nicely from the Egyptian sun. She lay down on the mattress on the floor, and Barbatus hastily threw off his clothes, revealing a hairy chest and a soldier standing to attention. He knelt at her feet, leant down and kissed her bellybutton. Slowly, one kiss at a time, he made his way up to her lips. With Barbatus gazing into Illica’s bright eyes, his hands brushing through her ginger locks, the night of passion began in earnest.   

***

The sun peeked through the slits of the wooden window shutters, forming a dozen rays of light that arced across the dirty room. Barbatus lay on his back, watching specks of dust dance between the rays, flitting in and out of invisibility, as his mind slowly returned to the waking world. He noticed that Illica had gotten up. She put on her tunic and made for the door.

“Wait,” he said, “do you want some breakfast? There’s a place downstairs that does the best dormice”

“I had a good time last night Barbatus, but I can only spend time with people who fight for change”

“I fight for change!” he said, unable to hide a quiver in his voice

“You know the theory, but you’re not a man of action, are you? I wouldn’t want a civilian to get hurt, just because he was close to me”

Barbatus stood up, “I am a man of action. Let me show you”

He got dressed, grabbed Illica’s hand and pulled her out of the room, down the stairs and onto the street. She kept asking where they were going, but he said nothing. They went to the Macedonian quarter. Illica, who seemed amazed by the size and beauty of the villas, had clearly never been to this part of the city. They came to Vetus’ home. Barbatus kicked on the door.

“Ah, Barbatus my boy, and ... who’s this?”

Vetus stood in the threshold and held onto the door.

“Don’t worry magister, this is a friend”

“My name’s Illica”, she said with a saccharine smile

“Pleased to meet you, young lady, but I’m afraid I don’t invite strangers into my house. I’m just an old man, after all”

“She’s one of us,” said Barbatus, “she wants to free minds. We won’t be long”

He took hold of Illica’s hand and slipped past Vetus, pulling her inside. In the study, Barbatus pushed the desk out of the way as Illica watched with intrigue and Vetus shuffled around indecisively. He opened the trap door, and invited Illica to descend the rickety stairs first. Vetus hesitantly handed him a torch. The light fell upon the towering frame of the prelum. Illica’s eyes widened.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” said Barbatus

She went over to it and examined the tiny tiles.

“Is this Greek?”

“Coptic”

She turned to him, “So you are the real deal”

He nodded with a smug smile.

“So do you come down here often?”

“You’ll forgive me, young lady,” said Vetus from the stairs, “but the less you know the better”

“Of course, magister, pardon me,” said Illica, “we’ve taken enough of your time, we should leave you in peace. Thank you for allowing me into your home”

The old man muttered something under his breath as he climbed up the stairs.

On the street outside, Barbatus leant against a wall as casually as he could.

“So, what do you want to do now?” he said with a smile

“I’ve got to go back to my place, but I could come over to yours again tonight? Does that sound good?”

“Sounds wonderful, see you later”

As he watched her walk away, it dawned on him that he was behind with his work. He started to walk towards the sea, imagining what they would get up to tonight.

***

An hour later, Barbatus walked out of the Library with several monographs. The gigantic building, with its familiar columns and triangular pediments, overlooked the docks. He found a spot on the sea wall where he could read in peace and watch the sailors and fishermen going about their business. Seagulls skulked around, waiting for the opportunity to steal some food. Towering over the harbour was the lighthouse, that ancient wonder that resembled a fortress. For more than a thousand years it had shown the way through the dark. Not unlike the Library, thought Barbatus.   

Before he could finish the first page of ‘On the Annexation of Egypt’, he became distracted by a conversation on the street behind him.

“You heard the news, right? About the humanities?”

“Yeah, there’s going to be a riot, you can feel it in the air. Look, some soldiers running towards the academic district”

Barbatus turned around and accosted the two students.

“Excuse me, what’s this news you’re talking about?”

“Arts and humanities have been taken off the universal curriculum, and only some academies can teach them. Alexandria can’t anymore. You’d have to be the son of senator to afford to learn philosophy or whatever now”

“I guess Empress Galeria decided it was a waste of money,” said the other student, “after all, the point of education is to make the Empire stronger, not to turn it into a giant art gallery or symposium. Anyway, we’re doing medicine, so it doesn’t affect us”

Barbatus grabbed his collar, “Galeria sticks another knife into academia, into the very mind of the Empire, and you say it doesn’t affect you?!”

“Mate, I heard people are gathering at the temple of Thoth,” said the first student in a calming tone, “go vent your anger there”

Barbatus let go and started walking briskly towards the academic district, leaving his monographs on the sea wall. If what they said was right, his course in Egyptian studies was over. What would he do? If I’m lucky, he thought, I could stay in Alexandria and become a fisherman or something. I might have to go back home to Neapolis and beg father to let me help with his carpentry business. If I grovel enough, maybe he’ll forgive me for everything I said before I left. Then that will be my life, drab, uninspiring, back-breaking manual labour. No, I can’t accept that. Galeria has to be persuaded to change her mind. We have to get the message through her thick skull – a barracks burnt to the ground might do the trick. She has to learn that she can’t destroy people’s lives without consequences.

When he reached the temple of Thoth, there was already a crowd which filled the street. Standing on tiptoe, he could see there were only half a dozen terrified-looking soldiers at the entrance of the temple. There was a surge forward, and the soldiers were simply pushed out of the way as the crowd cheered. Everyone piled into the temple, and Barbatus followed. The temple was spacious, and there was easily enough room for the hundreds of students among the gigantic columns. Some of the priests scurried around with fear in their eyes, others simply stood and looked sternly down their noses at the intruders. A tall dark girl stood up on a dais at the front.

“We will occupy this temple until our demands are met”, she said, her voice echoing around the chamber, “I propose that our first demand be that the academy of Alexandria publically denounce Empress Galeria’s plans, and that they assure the students that all courses will continue as normal. All who agree say aye”

“Aye!” shouted the crowd, their assent resounding around the temple

Those closest to the entrance announced that there were many soldiers gathering outside, but still they methodically formulated their demands. Barbatus could see some nervousness beginning to dent their initial determination – worried looks, whispers in friends’ ears, people wondering how exactly this was going to end. But then the people near the entrance gave some surprising news: there was a crowd of locals on the street outside as well, growing in size and in anger. Relief swept through the temple. If the students and locals worked together, they could push the army back.

“Does anyone speak Coptic?” called out the girl at the front

Barbatus raised his hand.

“I’ll talk to them”

He made his way to the entrance, with people moving out of his way. Outside, the sky was orange and pink as the sun approached the horizon, and the streets were beginning to darken. He was taken aback by the sheer number of locals who had appeared, a sea of people flooding the street, but he was not heartened. They were trying to push their way towards the temple through the army, but their anger was not directed at the soldiers. There were several lines of infantry between them and the temple, but they were struggling to hold them back.

“Friends!” Barbatus shouted over the soldiers, “Let’s fight these dogs together! Let’s build a better city!”

“Get the fuck out of our temple!” the closest locals shouted in response

He persevered. “You’re playing into their hands! They want us divided!”

“You students, you spoiled brats,” one dirty young man yelled, “you always bring the city to a halt to complain that you’re not pampered enough. What about the hard working people of the city? We’ve had enough! We’re not going to take it anymore!”

Barbatus didn’t have time to reply as a surge from behind the locals he was conversing with suddenly pushed them forward and broke the line of soldiers. Only briefly surprised by their own strength, they trampled over infantrymen and clambered up the steps of the temple like some hungry polycephalous monster. Barbatus ran back into the temple, a second before his comrades shut the gigantic doors – except the mass of people hit the doors before they were completely closed. They tried to force the doors open by their sheer weight, but the students pushed back. Dozens of them formed a phalanx, digging their heels into the floor and pushing the person in front. Through the gap between the doors, the two multitudes shouted insults and claims of ownership of the temple at each other. Barbatus noticed that the man beside him had tears streaming down his cheeks, pushing with all his might but driven purely by fear.

“Hey, this temple is our fortress,” he said, “from here we’re going t-“

But Barbatus never finished his encouragement. The locals pushed the doors open wide, causing a hundred students to topple like dominos. The locals flooded in, and before Barbatus could get up he saw one with a hammer swing it into the face of the crying man. Barbatus scrambled up and ran with the rest of the students towards the back of the temple in the hope of another exit. He was dimly aware that he was stepping on people and that his brave words had been rendered utterly meaningless, but instinct had taken over and his one and only goal in life had become to get away from the mob. The screams of fright and agony behind him only made him faster. They came across a back entrance, but it was only small and in the funnel everyone shoved and elbowed each other in a mad attempt to get out sooner.

Once outside, Barbatus stood in the street. He realised he was drenched in sweat, and was grateful for the relatively cool air. The street was full of young people, some discussing what their next move should be, others slowly making their way down the street, presumably to home. At the end of the street closest to the main entrance of the temple there were several rows of soldiers blocking their way. Barbatus stood there watching them for a few minutes, as they stood and watched him. Then he heard a centurion bark an order, and the soldiers parted like the Red Sea. Dozens of horses appeared as though from nowhere, thundering towards them. Instinct took over again and the students ran, but of course seconds later the cavalry smashed into the crowd. Barbatus was hit from behind and flew face first into the ground. He leapt back up and darted between the horses, but didn’t escape being hit on the crown with a wooden sword by one of the riders. He slipped into a dark alleyway. His nostrils were filled with a metallic smell, and he realised he was dribbling blood. He spat some of it out, along with two of his teeth. He took deep breaths. They had lost. It was time to go home.     

Half an hour later, night had descended on the city. The streets were still busy, mostly with people hurrying home to avoid getting caught up in the violence, although there was the occasional troop of soldiers or band of rioters running to another quarter of the city. When Barbatus was nearing his insula, he heard noises from down the street and his heart dropped. When he got there, he saw soldiers guarding his building. Students were being led out, some confused, some quietly fuming, as their rooms were ransacked and monographs were thrown out of the windows. Barbatus simply stood and watched, their defeat made crystal clear in his mind. Eventually it occurred to him that he needed somewhere to sleep tonight. All of the other student buildings were no doubt being subjected to the same treatment, so the only safe place he could think of was Vetus’ villa. Stolo and Tuditanus would probably also be there. So he made his way to the Macedonian quarter.  

Even in this affluent part of the city there were crowds of people in the streets, all with worried expressions. He reached Vetus’ street, but as he got closer the throng seemed to thicken and he had to squeeze between people. Only after he had got through a group of motionless people did he realise they were watching something. There were soldiers outside the villa. Some were carrying monographs and what must have been pieces of the dismantled prelum from inside. Vetus was on his knees, his hands chained, looking at the ground. Illica was there, and Barbatus stared at her. Their eyes met for a second before Illica said something to one of the soldiers and pointed at Barbatus. He realised he’d been gawping at the scene for far too long and launched himself back into the crowd. 

But someone grabbed his tunic and pulled him back. Suddenly he was surrounded by soldiers, two of them holding him in place as the others punched him in the face and kicked him in the groin. He felt his cheek bones crack. His body went limp and numb, seemingly knowing there was no point resisting. Confident he had got the message, the soldiers let go of him and he dropped to the floor. They put chains on him as his face began to swell and throb. His vision was blurred, but he could see a mass of red hair appear in front of him.

“I never did thank for you for last night”

Illica shook a small bag she was holding, and coins rattled within.

“Thanks to you, I have this. Maybe I’ll use it to finish my education. And perhaps I’ll talk to the Tribune on your behalf, try to persuade him against crucifixion. Something a bit quicker. It’s the least I can do”

She got up, patted him on the head and walked away. Barbatus looked down, no thoughts going through his mind, and watched the blood drip from his face onto the stone. 

Sunday 5 March 2017

Historia Alium - Chapter 4

The Age of Apollo

1599 AUC

Galeria Postuma sat on a stool, watching Cilo do his work. It was light, airy and quiet in his courtyard, although the sounds of the city could still be heard. In one corner of the yard was a cart waiting to be collected, and in another was a half-finished bed. Here and there were hammers and saws, but Cilo was using a small chisel on the thin strip of wood. Galeria had spent much of the afternoon there, and was no longer paying attention to the work itself, but rather to Cilo and the earnest concentration in his eyes, and the beads of sweat trickling down his face only to become trapped in his stubble. Galeria was aware that she wasn’t the prettiest girl, with her small eyes, protruding chin and painfully skinny figure. It was slightly depressing to think that even if he came from a patrician family, or if she didn’t, he probably still wouldn’t make any advances.

“Tell me where you got this idea from again”, he said

“From a merchant from Sidon. He said the Arabs call it tarsh”

“Well, I think I’ve finished. Take a look”

As Galeria had asked, Cilo had chiseled away such that the letters seemed to spring up from the wood. The letters were larger than if they had been written, and they were backwards, as if reflected in water.

“Thank you, Cilo,” said Galeria with a quick embrace, “that’s perfect!”

She picked up the strip of wood and put some coins on the table.

“Don’t be surprised if I come back next week with the second page”, she said as she made for the door

“I’ll be waiting”, said Cilo with a wave

Galeria ran up the Caelian hill back to her house. There was a splendid view of the Consular Palace on the Palatine, and more importantly of the Circus Maximus in the valley below. She had been told that her father had loved the races, and would spend many an afternoon watching them from afar from their balcony.

Once inside she went straight to her room and laid the wood on the table. She got out the mixture of soot, glue and water that she had bought earlier and brushed it over the letters. Then she carefully laid a piece of cloth over it, got out another piece of wood and used it to firmly press down on the cloth, slowly moving up it. She peeled the cloth off and looked at the result. A lot of the writing was too blurry to be legible, but it was still recognisibly the first page of Archimedes’ volume ‘On the Equilibrium of Planes’, so Galeria was pleased. Perhaps the ink needs to be different, she thought.

“What are you doing?”

Galeria jumped. Her mother was standing in the doorway, looking down her sharp nose, her hands on the sides of her flabby waist.

“Just an experiment”, said Galeria

“You and your experiments. How am I ever going to get you married? Listen, had you heard that Tarquitius Caepio has returned?”

“Has he?”

“And a messenger’s just told me he wants to dine with us tonight, so get washed and get changed. You look even dirtier than usual”

“So you didn’t invite him?” asked Galeria, “He just decided to come and eat with us?”

“Well I can’t tell him to get stuffed, can I?”

An hour later, the family stood ready in the atrium. There was a kick at the door, which a slave opened. Tarquitius Caepio, wearing gleaming military uniform and a bushy beard, strode to the head of the household.

“Senator, it is a pleasure to see you again”

Galeria’s grandfather murmured something before asking, “Whose grain?”

Caepio ignored this and moved onto her brother.

“Young Galerius Camillus, how are you? And dear Marcella, I see you’re as ... voluptuous as ever”

“Behave yourself,” said her mother with a chuckle, “you can’t do what you like in Rome anymore”

“This must be Galeria. Do you remember me? I last saw you a decade ago, you must have been about nine or ten”

“Just about”, Galeria said sincerely

“Well, I’m famished. Let’s eat. I’m not going to apologise for barging in on you like this, by the way,” said Caepio as they went into the triclinium, “I am duty-bound to visit the family of my brother-in-arms as often as I can, to make sure you are all safe and prosperous”

“We are all very well, thank you,” said Marcella as they mounted the couches, “now tell us about Hispania. Did it go well?”

“It went as well as it could have done. Quite good fun. Life in the Senatorial legions these days is like sport. There’s one traitor,” he slapped one corner of the table loudly, “oh look, there’s another one over there”, he slapped another corner and laughed at his demonstration

“Who was it this time? Was it Atellus?” asked Marcella

“That’s right, Atellus, self-appointed dictator of Hispania,” said Caepio, “a strange creature. Last month our armies met not far from Tarraco. We had a great time listening to his speech to his troops before the battle. There was the usual guff about how corrupt and depraved the Republic is – well, everyone knows the Republic isn’t depraved enough! He talked about how we had forced mob-rule on the poor provincials who don’t even understand what voting is – I’m sure that played well with his Hispanic auxiliaries. Then he went and promised that all single men in his army would receive a beautiful bride, if they won the battle. We’d been chasing them for months, I’m sure they were all sex-starved. Still, I think most of them were rational enough to realise how ridiculous a promise that was. Where were these thousands of beautiful women going to come from? By this time some of my men were collapsing with laughter. I’m sure that persuaded more than a few of Atellus’ men that their dictator was grasping at straws. They understood that he wasn’t going to deliver the peace and order he had guaranteed them.

“Anyway, about half an hour into the battle, Atellus’ infantry are faltering. One of my centuries breaks through their lines. Atellus decides to send in all his cavalry, including himself, to push back that century. Not the smartest move. I send in my cavalry around his flanks to deal with his archers, and now he’s completely surrounded. I enter the fray, hoping to find and fight the creature, but within minutes they’ve all surrendered. The battle’s over.

“I find Atellus sitting on the ground next to his dead horse, seemingly deep in thought. He sees me coming, stands up and asks me to kill him. I say, you’ve still got your sword, haven’t you? Do it yourself. But he refuses”

“Why?” asked Marcella, “Surely there’s no difference?”

“He didn’t want to die honourably, like Cato. Too Stoic. Too Republican. He wanted a glorious death. He was ambitious, but he’d lost, so his only hope was for historians to acknowledge that he didn’t concede defeat”

“And did you give him what he wanted?” asked Camillus

“No, I brought him back with me. Romans killing Romans, it’s a terrible business. Such a waste. But being at each others’ throats is all we’ve known. What we need is a good war with some barbarians”

“Did you bring your legions back with you as well?” asked Camillus  

“One remains in Hispania, but the rest returned with me. They needed a break, before the next hubris-addled fool springs up. They’ll be with friends, family, favourite whores or whoever for a few weeks, then reform at the martial camp outside Ostia”

“And assuming another war hasn’t started in that time, then what?” asked Camillus, “You’re not angling for political office, by any chance?”

“What makes you say that, young man?” asked Caepio

“Maybe you’re not aware of it, but you’re famous here. I hear the plebs call you the hero of the Republic. And I suppose, your loyal legions being a day’s march away from Rome ... makes an impression”

Caepio chuckled, “I don’t want to enter politics. I’ve heard too many tales of soldiers who’ve thought they could conquer the political world, only to find they’re about as fearsome as a fresh recruit. War without bloodshed. It’s almost unnatural. I also hear the company is excruciatingly dull – present company excepted, of course”

Caepio gestured to the senator, who had already fallen asleep.

“And how’s your career progressing, Camillus? What’s your title?”

“Junior official at the department of agriculture”

“Ah, the ever-expanding bureaucracy”, said Caepio with a hint of exasperation

“The Empire is an unimaginably complex beast,” said Camillus, “if it’s going to survive it needs to be well organised. For instance, potatoes”

He pointed to the bowl of spiced boiled potatoes on the table.

“A century ago, you’d be hard-pressed to find one. But trade with the Maia has increased, and plenty of famers in Europe have started growing potatoes. They’re resilient and nutritious, and consequently the population of the Empire has been growing. And more people means more complexity for the State to oversee”

“True, but I’m still wary of you bureaucrats. You want to micromanage everything, and you convince yourselves that you know what’s best for people. Where did you get the silly idea of banning orgies? Or banning the Saturnalia, for that matter? The one day a year we treat our loyal slaves with respect,” Caepio gestured to the half-dozen slaves standing to attention around the room, who shifted awkwardly on their feet, “and you ban it. Who would have thought Rome would become a city full of Stoics. Next you’ll be banning wine”

“Those things are perverse and subversive to the State and to the natural order of the world,” said Camillus, “if you’re so skeptical of the Republic’s policies, some people might doubt your commitment to the founding principles of th-“

“Listen boy, I’m more committed to the Republic than you’ll ever be. I was a boy when Rutilus brought the Republic back. When they gave the provincials the right to vote for their own tribunes, but our vassals refused, I joined the army. I was a centurion under the command of Dentatus, as was your father, may he rest in Elysium, at the battle of Potentia against the monster Pansa who wanted to demolish the Republic and install himself as Emperor. Thanks to the Republic, the Empire regained its strength. But now I see a syphilis-riddled Senate – even one of our wise Consuls has been taken ill – who have had to hand over more and more responsibilities to the bureaucracy, with their hare-brained schemes and total lack of ... inspiration”

“So, we should read more poetry?” asked Camillus with a smirk

“Maybe you should. Atellus and all the other generals and soldiers who have turned their back on Rome, they didn’t do it because they’re simply greedy and malicious. Men need an inspiring leader, they need their pride, they need to be great men doing great deeds, and that will be the case whether the Republic acknowledges and uses it or not. Ever since Emperor Trajan abandoned Mesopotamia seven hundred years ago, Rome’s been lurching from crisis to crisis. We’ve become too focused on merely getting by. What we need is a rebirth”

“And how do you propose we reinstate Rome’s greatness and glory?” asked Camillus

There was a pause as Caepio considered his reply, but Galeria beat him to it.

“Engineering”, she said

“Juno above”, said Marcella, looking skyward

“Engineering’s how Rome forged an empire,” continued Galeria, “I mean, of course there were the sacrifices of countless brave soldiers, but they used complex equipment like arcuballistas developed by military engineers. And once we conquered a place, we built infrastructure to make the locals happier and gigantic temples and arenas to fill them with awe. It’s our engineering skills that separate us from barbarians, that’s our backbone, and if we want Rome to be great again, that’s what we should use”

“I apologise, Caepio,” said Marcella, “my daughter sometimes forgets what it means to be a woman”

“No, she’s right,” said Caepio, “but engineers don’t grow on trees”

“No, but we could look harder for them,” continued Galeria, “what if each province gave every child with Roman citizenship an education in mathematics and mechanics?”

“How on earth would some plebeian child, who would spend the rest of his life as a farmer or a soldier, use mathematics?” asked Marcella

“He might not, but that way we could find people who excelled, who showed promise, who came up with new ideas. It would be like sifting for gold”

“It would piss off too many people,” said Camillus, “estate-holders wouldn’t like the children of their serfs being forced not to work. Their incomes would go down”

Galeria ignored her brother, “Then with the people who excel, we can send them to places where they can learn more, work with other intellects and research better techniques with the Republic’s backing. Before long, we’ll have legions of brilliant engineers and better ways to build aqueducts and kill barbarians”

“That’s a good idea, Galeria,” said Caepio, “but where are all the learned men to teach the children?”

There was an awkward silence as Galeria pondered.

“I don’t know. It was just an idea I had”

“Ah, I think we’ve talked enough about important things,” said Caepio, “have you bought any good-looking slaves recently, Camillus? Or are you too scared to shag your own property?”

***

Several weeks later, Galeria was sitting on the balcony above the atrium. The sun had set, but the clouds were still red, blanketing the view of the other six hills in sanguine light. Galeria had the fourth page of On the Equilibrium of Planes in front of her, and a piece of parchment on which she was copying it backwards. Having now mastered the mirror-alphabet, it wasn’t taking long. Camillus came out from inside.

“Good evening. Anything dramatic happen at the department of potatoes today?” asked Galeria with a smirk

“No, but did you hear what happened last night?”

Galeria sat up and shook her head.

“Another orgy”, said Camillus

“Another one?!”

“No orators or politicians this time, they were all senior military men. All caught trying to scarper just as the Apollonian Guard broke down the door. And just like last week, each man said he was invited there for a different reason. One said he expected a night of poetry, another a symposium on Zeno”

“All these scandals! Was Caepio there?” asked Galeria

“Maybe, not sure”

“I bet you and your colleagues are pretty happy, now there’s less attention on your superiors and their slip-up”

“No, we are not,” said Camillus with a frown, “it’s evidence of our failure to set Rome on the path of morality”

“They’re soldiers, they risk their lives for our safety, so what if they have a bit of fun once in a while?”

Camillus sighed, “I’m too tired for an argument, Galeria. I’ll see you in the morning”

“Sleep well”

Galeria went back to her writing. She could hear the sound of distant thunder. It slowly grew louder, until she looked up and inspected the sky to see where the storm was coming from. When she couldn’t see any suspiciously dark clouds, she listened more carefully. It wasn’t thunder at all, it was the shouts and screams of men, and the sound of iron clashing with iron. A trumpet sounded from the other side of the city. Galeria got up and stood at the edge of the balcony. Troops of soldiers, each with a torch, were scurrying through the streets to the south-western wall of the city. Galeria ran inside and ordered one of the slaves to get everyone out of their rooms.

“There’s a battle! There’s a battle!” she cried as she darted around the villa

“What are you yelling about?” asked her mother as she strode from her room, “By Juno, you look like you’ve seen a ghost”

“There’s a battle outside the walls”

“Get the emergency pigeon!” Marcella said to the nearest slave

The family gathered on the balcony. Every citizen and his dog seemed to be shouting out of his window, either in fear or in confusion. “In the name of Dis, what is going on? In the name of Dis?!” one of their neighbours was bellowing. The slave came with an almost perfectly white pigeon and a knife. Marcella took a hold of the bird with both hands, and looked to the rapidly darkening sky.

“Glorious Mars, father to the Roman people, bring swift victory to those who defend this holy city”

Marcella held the pigeon down on the floor and, with some commotion, severed its head. Seconds later, an ear-shattering boom rocked the city. Echoes reverberated around the hills. Galeria looked north: there was a cloud of dust and smoke atop the Esquiline hill. When it cleared a little, she saw that the Praetorian fort had been reduced to smoldering ruins. The city’s cacophony was replaced by silence.

“We need to barricade the door”, said Camillus

A few minutes later, Galeria and her mother and brother were in the atrium, watching the slaves strengthen the door with wooden barricades. Senator Galerius shuffled into the room with his walking stick in one hand and a sword in another. However he was too weak to hold it up and his arm shook and spasmed, making the sword look like an uncontrollable animal.

“A brave man may fall, but he cannot yield!” he cried as he slowly made his way towards the door

Marcella grabbed him, spun him around and pushed him away, “Get to your room, you mad old dog!”

Galeria went to her room as well, but after an hour of sitting on her bed, she came to the conclusion that she would only feel safe if she at least had an inkling of what was going on. She crept back up to the balcony, knelt on the floor and peeked over the balustrade. A small contingent of soldiers was marching up the road below. She jumped out of her skin when the commander shouted.

“Please stay indoors, good citizens. Peace and order has returned to Rome”

Apart from the occasional shout from a soldier, the city was deathly quiet. Anywhere else, this silence would be naturally calming, but in Rome, even in this supposed age of restraint, it was deeply disturbing. There were still some fires going around the remains of the Praetorian fort. Galeria watched as one by one they were put out, but before long she unconsciously slipped down onto the floor and closed her eyes.

***

Galeria awoke to the sound of knocking. She was still on the balcony, and was at first surprised that she was seeing clouds drifting lazily across the sky rather than her ceiling. One of the slaves had draped a blanket over her. The knocking sound was getting annoying, so she got up and looked for its source. On the street below there was a smartly dressed messenger, flanked by two guards, kicking on their door.

“Yes?” said Galeria

“I belong to the Leader of the Senate. The Senate is convening this morning, and Senator Galerius is summoned”

An hour later, Galeria and her mother helped the Senator into a litter, then reclined either side of him. Escorted by a dozen slaves, they made their way down the hill. The streets were busy with pedestrians, also making their way to the Forum. There was a murmur of excitement, as though daylight had transformed fear into curiosity.

The Forum was packed, a veritable sea of people broken only by arches, pillars, temples and two lines of soldiers down the middle who were making a clear path for the senatorial litters. The slaves came to a halt outside the Curia, and Galeria and Marcella helped the head of the family out, then held an arm each as they climbed the stairs to the entrance. Once he was inside, they went back down again and joined the families of the other senators who were gathered at the front of the vast throng. 

Then they waited. Galeria listened to the theories and speculations of the plebs behind them, each person considering themselves an expert in political affairs. The nobles, however, were much more tight-lipped – only the occasional furtive whisper. The absence of conversation began to make Galeria feel nervous, a feeling which only grew as the wait dragged on.

An hour after they arrived, the great doors opened and the city fell silent. A man wearing gleaming military uniform strode out. At first Galeria didn’t recognise him. Now he was smooth shaven, she could see how square his chin was.

“I should have known”, said Marcella, burying her face in her hands

“My name is Gaius Tarquitius Caepio. Let me reassure you that, thanks to my actions, the Republic is safe. Our noble Senators and bureaucrats have let the Republic crumble. This was because they did not fully appreciate one simple fact: that the Roman people are the greatest people the world has ever seen!”

“Flattery will get you everywhere”, said Marcella as the crowd behind them cheered

“Our precious Republic needs a leader to guide and protect it,” continued Caepio, “and today the Senate has graciously asked me to be sole Consul for life. I must shoulder this responsibility for the good of the empire, and so must every leader after me. After I am gone, the Senate must appoint another Consul for life, but it must not be one of my relations. I will make it sacred law that the Senate must wait at least a hundred years before appointing a Consul from the same family. And every year tribunes will still be elected across the empire. Power remains in the hands of the People!”

More cheers from the crowd, although somewhat half-hearted.

“The oldest trick in history,” muttered Marcella in Galeria’s ear, “putting some fat over a pile of bones”

“People of Rome, I have sad news for you, although all of you already know it deep in your souls. This city has lost sight of its purpose in the world. The gods themselves gave our ancestors the task of bringing the light of civilisation to barbarian lands and bringing peace to the world by uniting it under our rule. We are the Chosen People, because we excel at the art of ruling. Why do we squabble amongst ourselves when we have so much work to do? I am moved by a profound sorrow when I am reminded that our empire hasn’t expanded in seven centuries. That is why today I am declaring an end to the age of Hadrianus. We will take the fight to strange lands and remind the world how strong the People of Rome are!”

The Forum exploded with noise as jubilation swept through the crowd like a wave. Galeria joined in, jumping up and down and waving her arms, attracting some contemptuous glances from the stony-faced aristocrats around her. But Galeria didn’t care – Caepio was offering Rome something they couldn’t: pride.

***

“He’s an arrogant bastard. He’ll be toppled within the year, mark my words,” Marcella was saying, “the gods simply won’t allow him to stay in power”

“I think he’ll do what’s best for Rome,” said Galeria, “sometimes the offense is the best defense”

“That was the most ambiguous declaration of war the world’s ever known. Who are we going to fight? The Nubians? The Germans? The Arabs?”

Galeria sighed. Her conversations over dinner with her mother had become even more tiresome in the weeks following Caepio’s takeover.

“And what was all that about not having hereditary emperors?” continued Marcella, “Only a pleb could come up with that idea”

“He’s Consul for life, not emperor”

“Will you stop being so naive?”

“I thought you’d be happy, mother, that one of our friends has risen to the highest office. We’re one of the most important families in the city now”

Marcella’s face grew red, and Galeria braced herself for a torrent of anger.

“Your father died”, said Marcella quietly, her upper lip quivering and her eyes sparkling with held-back tears, “protecting this city from men like him. And that scoundrel has my only son fearing for his life”

“Camillus is fine,” said Galeria gently, “hiding in his room was hardly doing him any good. It’s just as well the Department ordered him to return to work”

“But what if it’s a trap? What if there were soldiers waiting for him in his office this morning?”

“Calm down mother, what Camillus and Caepio said to each other ... well, it was barely even an argument”

Camillus came into the triclinium, and before he could say anything, his mother had run over to him and embraced him as though he’d been away for years.

“Did anything happen, my little tomato?”

“Nothing happened, it was an ordinary day”, said Camillus, freeing himself from Marcella’s grip and mounting one of the couches

One of the slaves, a tall Dacian, burst into the room.

“Mistress, a servant of the Consul is at the door”

Camillus shrieked in a not-so-manly way, fell off the couch and scurried off to his room. The slave did a very good job of pretending to ignore his master’s departure.

“He says that the Consul wishes to speak with the young mistress this evening, and that he will escort her to the Palace”

Both mother and daughter were taken aback.

“Erm...” said Galeria after a few moments, “well I suppose I shouldn’t keep him waiting”

She went to her room, changed into her nicest stola and threw on a lime green shawl before a couple of slaves quickly did her hair and applied makeup. A few minutes later she went down to the atrium and into the sedan chair waiting on the street outside.

“Say nothing about Camillus!” cried Marcella after her as the slaves carrying the sedan chair and the guards set off down the street

They went down the hill to the Forum, then up the ceremonial road to the top of the Palatine. Galeria and her entourage stopped in the courtyard between the temple of Apollo and the Palace of Domitian. She followed the chief slave through the gigantic wooden doors into the entrance hall, where a dozen painters were transforming the old, austere style into the most vividly colourful room Galeria had ever seen. They went down a long corridor with pairs of soldiers standing to attention, and entered a hall with an enormous fresco of Romulus, Remus and the wolf on the far wall. Underneath it, sitting behind a mahogany desk, was Caepio. He looked up from what he was reading.

“Ah, young Galeria Postuma! Thank you so much for coming”

“Thank you for inviting me to the, I mean, your Palace”

Caepio drummed his fingers on the desk as he considered his next words.

“Did you know that I was an onion seller? When I was a boy?”

Galeria shook her head.

“I lived on the Aventine. After my mother died, I lived in a barrel behind a tavern. I may have picked a pocket once in a while, when I wanted to treat myself to some cheese or a cup of wine. I joined the army as soon as I could, where I met your father. Despite the fact he came from a senatorial family, and I came from the gutter, we became good friends. We recognised each other’s strength and honesty, and that’s all we needed.

“When I came to your house that night, and you were saying that we should educate everyone, even farmers, so the Empire can thrive, you reminded me of your father. I’m sure he would have agreed. If someone’s good at something, they need to do it, even if they’re scum from the Aventine. That’s how legions stay strong. It’s the same for empires”

Caepio studied Galeria’s expression, but she wasn’t sure what he was expecting and still didn’t understand why he had summoned her. She nodded politely in acknowledgment. The sole Consul for life stood up.

“Let me show you something”

She followed him out of the room and down the corridor. They went into a room as big as the hall they had just left, although this one had a bed and a mural of Morpheus holding a maiden in his arms, his wings casting a shadow over her. At the orders of Caepio two soldiers moved a mirror taller than a man away from the wall, revealing a simple wooden door. Caepio opened it – there was a dark tunnel Galeria could not see the end of. A shiver went down her spine, but she followed Caepio, who took a torch, into the shadows. Slowly but surely the tunnel was leading them downwards, seemingly into the very heart of the Palatine hill. The longer they walked, the more urgently Galeria wanted to know where they were going, but the more scared she was to ask. The least rational part of her mind, informed by stories told to her in her childhood, whispered that Caepio had found a way to the Underworld and that they were going to meet Dis any minute. Then Galeria saw some light ahead – there were four soldiers, three of whom were slumped on the ground.

“Wake up, you lazy cocksuckers!” Caepio barked, his order echoing down the tunnel, giving it an almost supernatural quality, “You’re guarding perhaps the most important room in the Empire’s history!”

“Yes sir! Sorry sir! Won’t happen again sir!”

Galeria noticed that they were indeed guarding a door, this one made of iron.

“Open it up”

With some effort one of the soldiers pushed it open, and Caepio invited Galeria inside. Gingerly she crossed the threshold. At first it was pitch black, but as Caepio came in with his torch, a host of flickering stars appeared. As the soldiers came in with their torches, alien shapes took form: barbaric-looking hunters, feathered serpents, tall pyramids, and all of it glistening like the summer sea. There were masks with strange, tattooed faces, stacks of plates with ornate sun motifs, idols wearing resplendent crowns. The mountains of gold filled the cavern. Galeria waded in and examined everything in reach.

“Thank Jupiter for the Maia!”

“Rome’s richer than we thought. The Stoics were holding us back,” said Caepio, “now, Galeria, I could use this to raise whole armies to defeat my enemies, within the Empire and without. That would be the sensible thing to do. That would be what every ruler of Rome before me would do. But Rome needs a change, and the Romans need to see that we’re entering a new age. Hiring learned and skilled men to teach the Empire’s youth will be expensive, but I think we can afford it”

Galeria turned to Caepio, her eyes wide with shock. Did he really mean...?


 “It’s a good idea, Galeria. Let’s use it to give Rome a second birth”